("shouting the poetic truths of high school journal keepers"*; or, The Ultimate Blogpost

My hair had become long again, as long as it was when I graduated from high school. Seattle long, fifteen months long. Then, after kvetching about its inconveniences endlessly, I paid a young person named Steffi fourteen Euros to cut it all off, leaving only fifteen sleek millimeters around the sides and back. Precision. Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz. Catharsis by haircut; feels great out.

Blogger of the Year

Next morning the other parents unloading their children with the Tagesmutter are visibly surprised. They're surprised because long hair is the only hair of mine they know. I have to explain that this cut is more of a return to form than a swerve into new territory, and I keep it simple by leaving out that long hair was also a return, an unplanned, lazyass rehearsal of adolescence. They're also surprised because it's winter. As I say, feels great out.

Fifteen months, plus December, leaves us only six more months in Berlin – gray, paradisiacal Berlin.


Some rebellious splinter of my mind – despite my philosophical and ethical commitments, such as they are – had become excited by the idea that I might arrive at some minimal understanding of another place/culture (since I've completely given up on trying to understand my "own!") after a mere two years. The rebel has been hanged for treason, not surprisingly. A cliche follows: The more I am in Berlin, the longer I'm here and sink in or try to remain camoflouged (the haircut is helping), the less I know. I don't think of this as a revelation or some kind of Socratic boast. I genuinely feel that I am becoming more and more ignorant, as well as more and more circumspect about what can be known. I mistrust experts; I mistrust novices. And the notion that I might, through dint of effort or otherwise, come to understand at least some small sliver of "myself"—this notion is a reusable special effects prop which gets exploded more violently every year.


This Is My Jam is a service for sharing one song at a time. It prompts you weekly to switch your song. I opened an account last spring. Here are all of the songs I've posted to date:
Tiny Me by Split Cranium
YOU CAN LISTEN YOU CAN TALK by Carsick Cars
I Am Wrong by Nomeansno
Le Dernier Mot by Ô Paon
All Lies by Nomeansno
The Things That People Do When They Think No One's Looking by Hella
(I'm Gonna) Miss You (When You're Dead) by Treepeople
Eggs for Rib by Cop Shoot Cop
Throb by Skin Yard
Something So Clear by Mudhoney
I'd Like to Be There by Rob Crow
Man In The Trees by Die Kreuzen
The Man Who Loves To Hurt Himself by Today Is The Day
Smoking In A Minor by Officer May
Pinch & Roll by Hum
Winder by Hum
To Part[n]er by Butthole Surfers
Frere Jacques by ?
Huck by Thirty Ought Six
Animated Airplanes Over Germany by Superchunk
When I Burn This Place Down by Firewater
Carmelita by Dwight Yoakam
Alle Meine Entchen by ?
Paint It Black by Firewater
Bull In The Heather by Sonic Youth
Lee by Spore
Hall of the Dead by Isis
We Were Kids by Turtle Giant
Understanding Nothing by Bruce Cockburn
Berlin by Heidi Brühl
Dulcinea by Isis
Queen B by Jucifer
The Sinking Belle (Blue Sheep) by Sunn O))) & Boris
My Amigo by Terry Allen
The Future Will Destroy You by Viva Voce
Lecker Lecker by Näd Mika
December by Unwound
Demons Sing Love Songs by Unwound
Wither by Skin Yard
Civil Savage by The Old Haunts
Mercury Falls by Come
Blue Water - Black Heart by The Black Heart Procession
Lucky Acid by Unwound
Only Loved at Night by The Raincoats
Only Loved at Night by The Raincoats
Angel by Belly

Minus the two children's songs, samples of all of these have been remixed into a sort of, well, presentation at http://2012.jamodyssey.com/autresy. I don't know what this selection of music says about me, but if anything, it's not surprising.



* A line from one of my favorite SY songs, Skip Tracer.)